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ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE
Please Read all the way to the end!

If you will take the time to read these. I promise you'll come away
with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all on
a daily basis!

They're written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift of saying so
much with so few words. Enjoy.......

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet
of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my
day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one
of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have
the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to
be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold
and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on
summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer
it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything
we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life
so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants
to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I 've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are
only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to
surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a
smile.

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with
them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take
the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock
elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her
one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender,
because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your
looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your
little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain,
but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more
things I get done.

To all of you.... Make sure you read all the way down to the last
sentence.

It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending
it back to the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you,
then you'll know you have a circle of friends. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK
TO YOU!!!!!! YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED! Now send this to
every friend you have!! And to your family. This was sent to me.

Best Jokes From Around The world

 

A couple of investment bankers are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

 

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot is heard.

The banker's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

Second Place

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

 

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

 

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

 

"And what do you deduce from that?"

?/span>          Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

?/span>          Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

?/span>          Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three .

?/span>          Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

?/span>          Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment.

"Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Top Joke In USA

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

Top Joke In Canada

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300癈.

The Russians used a pencil.

Top Joke In England

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"

The other says, "Go home dad you're drunk."


Top Joke In Wales

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."


Top Joke In Northern Ireland

A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news".

"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.

The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."

"That's terrible", said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?"

The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

Also Rans

Two fish in a tank.

One turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this?"

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What do you call a monkey in a minefield?

A Baboom!

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A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said "it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up".

The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied "I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you!"

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Which day of the week do fish hate?.......

Fry-Day 
 

  打开电脑没有再见到那个闪亮的头像，我知道我并不是一个好人。不断让关心自己的人伤心难过，然后渐行渐远 。  

 

   不知道还有没有人一齐去分享我最爱的寿司，有没有人陪我去看大雄的恐龙。期待一齐去动物公园看考拉的心情会否过期。就这样自己就名副其实地再次成为一弃婴。  没人帮忙拣回去了。不过这些日子我已经习惯了一个人，就象家韶哥哥说的一样，我并不孤单因为有寂寞陪着。不能吃寿司那就m记开心乐园餐吧。不去拥有就不会失去。m记也许能吃一辈子。

 

    pizza hut。友情包围下的一顿吃得格外舒心。看着那个已经认识10年的啊do，竟然唏嘘起来。看着他手机里面大雪飘飞的录影，自己却象孩子一样哗然。面前的他比以前成熟很多，真正有点象“男人”的感觉了。希望他能考到cpa，也希望下次见面的时候我们都在香港。一个人的确什么也不用怕了。

 

    郑肖的日本料理很精致，快赚点钱让我吃好的。

 

    旭娜承诺的紫菜卷很吸引，她的关心总那么及时。

 

    谁说没有永恒的朋友只有永恒的利益。我不信。

 

   

  

   

 

   

 

    

   就像飘零燕那首歌一样。